A View of the C

Funny – Inappropriate – Edumacational

Medical, Dental, & Other ‘Benefits’ Too

Detroit residents are exploring all their options during the economic downturn.  Some are going to wait through the tough times where all the essentials are being offered, State or Federal Penitentiaries.

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I guess it’s always a good idea to have a back-up plan…  I’m sure Holly won’t mind the company! (See Related)

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December 21, 2008 Posted by | Did you know?, Economy | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why Am I Fat?

Well, I’m not and many of my friends are surprised by that. But as I say, a diet of gummy bears, cigarettes, and lemon water keeps me slim – oh yeah, a severe case of IBS helps too. Reminds me of this quote from Romy and Michele:

Michele: Did you lose weight?
Romy: Actually, I have been trying this new fat free diet I invented. All I’ve had to eat for the past six days are gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corns.
Michele: God, I wish I had your discipline.

But if you don’t have such luxuries, I’ve heard that diet and exercise are quite effective. But why are Europeans so much slimmer as a whole? Check out the information below and it provide some insights. Some stats:

  • Europeans walk an average of 237 miles each year and bike another 116, while Americans walk 87 miles and bike 24.
  • The Swiss take an average of 9,700 steps each day, compared to 7,200 for the Japanese and 5,900 for Americans.
  • 12 percent of Americans use active transportation: 9 percent walk, 1 percent ride a bike and 2 percent take a bus or train; over 25% of Americans are obese.

December 21, 2008 Posted by | Commentary, Did you know? | , , , , | Leave a comment

THANK YOU JAPAN!!!

You may want to have a little sanitizer handy the next time you pick up a Wii joystick.  I’m just sayin’….

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Japanese engineers have been making automated masturbation devices for a while now (that was news to me), but as Brian Ashcraft from Kotaku finds, they’ve finally made a game to go along with the action.

The SOM, a USB-connected wank toy, comes packaged with a game called Cross Days. Developers hooked up the SOM to be coordinated with the action on screen during the “climax scenes”, which is so obvious execution of the two products that we’re sure this has been done before.

December 21, 2008 Posted by | Did you know?, Funny | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

New @ Toys-R-Us

CSI For Kids – Too Cool!
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December 21, 2008 Posted by | Funny | , , , , , | Leave a comment

DIY Botox – Bad Idea People

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celiaKind of reminds me when Celia fell asleep and woke with a botox syringe in her forehead.  I love that crazy gurl – LMUAO!

December 21, 2008 Posted by | Funny | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dogs Need Comfort Too

lazy-dogA new luxury hotel opens near the German city of Munich offering five star canine comfort.

The Canis Resort has dog sitters on hand to pamper pooches, whether they’re staying for just a day or overnight.

Check out this video.

December 21, 2008 Posted by | Animal Protection, Did you know? | , , , | Leave a comment

It’s Not My Fault; I’m Under Alot Of Pressure At Work!

Are you dealing with stress over the holidays too?

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“And just so you know, it doesn’t happen to every guy, it’s not all that common and it is a big deal”

December 21, 2008 Posted by | Funny | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Warner Music, You Suck

Warner Music Group ordered YouTube on Saturday to remove all music videos by its artists from the popular online video-sharing site after contract negotiations broke down.

The order could affect hundreds of thousands of videos clips, as it covers Warner Music’s recorded artists as well as the rights for songs published by its Warner/Chappell unit, which includes many artists not signed to Warner Music record labels.

The talks fell apart early on Saturday because Warner wants a bigger share of the huge revenue potential of YouTube’s massive visitor traffic. There were no reports on what Warner was seeking.

“We simply cannot accept terms that fail to appropriately and fairly compensate recording artists, songwriters, labels and publishers for the value they provide,” Warner said in a statement. Continue reading

December 21, 2008 Posted by | Did you know?, Music | , , , , | Leave a comment

Britney & Benji – Are They Boinkin’?

Don’t the holidays have an amazing way of
allegedly bringing people together? 
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Exhibit 1:
A US magazine has reported that Paris Hilton’s former boyfriend (the split just a month ago) Benji Madden who is part of the rock band Good Charlotte is now reportedly dating Britney Spears.

Exhibit 2:
The claims made by In Touch are completely false,” she tells E! News. “There is not an ounce of truth to any of it.”  The claims involve Brit Brit’s dad, Jamie Spears, and manager Larry Rudolph creating a whole Circus of potential suitors, Madden, Chace Crawford, Jesse Metcalf and Michael Phelps, among them.

Friend-2-Friend, Brit: 
Hate the game, not the playa!

December 21, 2008 Posted by | Did you know?, Music | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

iPod “Building Block” Speaker

So cool, I love little ideas to listen to my music throughout the house as I pretty much have to have music just to brush my teeth. So having said that, check this out but since they appear to be out, you might have to do a little research, although I found the yellow one here. A little video is below. 

December 21, 2008 Posted by | Did you know? | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Buy This: Ghetto Blaster Bag

When you want the party to go wherever you maybe, perhaps this bag can help. Granted, it can’t actually play music so that could be a real let-down. However, if somebody were to get all of your money and credit cards that are IN the bag, it could be a party for at least someone. Since I digress per usual, see below for some specs. 

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Kickin’ it old skool! Our Boom Box Ghetto Blaster Weekend Bag will slap a Pop Rock like induced smile across your face! Large enough for lugging your paperwork home from the office or schlepping your books around campus!

Our bag measures 17.5 inches long x 12 inches tall x 8 inches wide (at the bottom) and 4 inches wide (at the top). The Ghetto Blaster also includes a detachable and adjustable shoulder strap in addition to the handles. Zipper closure.

Material: Faux/mock leather

Buy it here. Or here, as it appears they are out of stock on the first site. Also, here are some cool retro gifts. 

December 21, 2008 Posted by | Did you know? | , , , , | Leave a comment

Santa Likes Lapdances

Usually the good folks at Seattle’s Lusty Lady would be ecstatic when Santa Claus drops in.

But Saturday afternoon, when about 200 giddy Santas stormed the lobby, Saint Nick’s “Ho, ho, ho,” left the staff thinking “Oh, no, no, no!”

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The Santas made a beeline to private booths, crowding in three and four deep for a peep show. A chorus of “My, oh my!” and gasps and giggles sounded as the posse in red inhaled the carnal delights.

“Hey, is that beer?” a Lusty Lady attendant barked to one of the Santas chugging merrily in the hallway. “You can’t have that in here!”

His fellow Santas immediately chided him with mock rage: “Bad Santa! Bad Santa! Bad Santa!”

Welcome to the wild and wacky world of “Santarchy” — “Santa” plus “anarchy” — which could be described as equal parts pub crawl, equal parts holiday celebration and a whole lot of fun.

Going from location to location, the annual event in Seattle heightens the merriment with an element of stealth about where the group is heading and when.

Read more here

December 21, 2008 Posted by | Commentary, Did you know? | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What NOT To Say During a Panic…

During a recent flight out of Denver heading to Houston, TX, Continental Airlines Flight 1404 skidded off the runway and sent the passengers into a panic. During that panic, these words of encouragement were yelled, ‘The plane’s going to blow up, the plane’s going to blow up!”’

I can’t even imagine what that experience would be like as I’m pretty much terrified from the takeoff until the plane levels out and reaches it’s “cruising altitude”. If there’s turbulence, forget about it, I’m white-knuckling it all the way. 

I’m also a deep thinker in that I think, “Why do our tray tables need to be closed, why must my seat back be in the upright position, and is the seatbelt really going to help me (and why can’t it reach long enough for me to lay over three seats if I want to)? Will the floatation device under my seat really support me and will it help me fight off the sharks? Am I wearing non-flammable pants and who is the meatiest fellow passenger in case we have a need-to-eat thy neighbor situation?” All really healthy thoughts, I know. 

Thankfully, I have never had a truly harrowing flying experience and I’m thankful that it appears people weren’t seriously injured. I also can’t help but wonder if they get double-miles for that trip, or if half the flight was experience a terrible “420” moment, or perhaps if one person on board had their cell phone and other approved electronics in the ‘on’ position during takeoff. I guess I might never know, but these are the things I ponder. 

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December 21, 2008 Posted by | Commentary, Did you know? | , , , , | Leave a comment

Amy Winehouse Has A Nice Rack

Who would’ve thunk it? Let’s hope the waves wash away the filth and no aquatic life suffers as a result. 

Click here to see her jumblies. 

December 21, 2008 Posted by | Did you know? | , , , | Leave a comment