A View of the C

Funny – Inappropriate – Edumacational

911 Transcript – November 4, 2008

(operator): 9-1-1, state your emergency.

(caller): He stole it all … it was my turn! Yes we can? [redacted] we can! I got a slogan for you: If you got a vagina, sayonara … that [redacted] even rhymes …

(operator): Ma’am would you like to report a robbery?

(caller): Hell ya, bitch! You tell me? Has a man ever taken something from you? You ever have to return a custom-made inauguration pantsuit because of a man? Get that fat-ass, Bill Richardson, on the line – New Mexico should have been mine. All the blue ones (15 seconds of sobbing) … they should have been mine. New Hampshire, sweet, sweet New …

(caller’s husband): (Aside) Put some clothes on, [redacted]. (Into the phone) Heya, I’m sorry, she’s been doing shots every time a state closed its polls. I literally had to pull her out of the pool after Pennsylvania – that was three hours ago. What’s your name?

(operator): Sir, do you need an ambulance sent to your residence?

(caller’s husband): That depends, honey. Are you going to be in …

(caller): O-Bastard stole my presidency! I swear to god I’m going to stick Joe Biden so far up his ass that Joe the Plummer won’t be able to help either one of them!

(caller’s husband): Hill … Hillary! Hang up the other line!

(caller): Florida! I won you. I hate all of you in that state – every single last one of you. But I won your stupid primary that didn’t count. Ohio, you [redacted]! I did everything short of cutting off my left tit for you! This is how you thank … (caller hangs up)


November 12, 2008 Posted by | Did you know?, Funny, Politics | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment